Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
