Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize