Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
