Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
