last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
operation harelip BJ is a go
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
