I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
