so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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