i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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