idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I need to calm my uterus...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
