We need to rekindle our bromance
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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