hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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