do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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