I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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