We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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