Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
