Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Houston, we have a blender
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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