bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm passing your future prison.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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