He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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