I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
