Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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