Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
