I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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