Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
