You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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