mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
