you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
