I am puke
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
