you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
