i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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