it wasn't lemon gatorade
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
