alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
