check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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