omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just want nice things and good sex
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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