Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
