you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
