Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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