You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Moan for me like Helen Keller
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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