I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize