Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I wear drunk well.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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