used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
