Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
