At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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