btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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