have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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