I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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