sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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