I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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