batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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