I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Girls should come with a carfax report
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
