how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
