He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
