yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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