They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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