Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
