Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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