I love having hate sex.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
