I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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