He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
