you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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