i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize