thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
